::
"You are the only thing
That makes me want to live at all"
Vast - Flames
...another fell @ 3/25/2007 02:27:00 AM
NaNoWriMo
Yes, I'm writing a novel.
I signed up a little late, but as I've already reached my 2000 words/day goal 2 consecutive days, I thought I should make it a little more official. Maybe some encouragement will keep my head in it and I can actually achieve one of the "things I must do before I die."
::
"I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me"
Queen, Don't Stop Me Now
...another fell @ 11/06/2006 05:43:00 PM
It inspired a Rant, now I have to read it.
I started reading a sample chapter of Bad Medicine by Christopher Wanjek, where I ran across mentions of Pierre Flourens and Paul Broca. Two big names in the Brain. They discovered how the brain works, essentially by cutting off chunks of the living brains of animals and humans and seeing what happened. Sometimes, to make progress into the unknown, we must progress blindly, brutally, leaving ethics to idly pace and whilstle at the doorstep.
These days, such exploration is unconscionable. True, advances in technology such as electrostimulation make hacking off lumps of one's brain excessive and obsolete. However, the point remains. Society is too afraid to take risks that blur ethical lines in order to chart the vast expanses of unexplored territory in medicine, even if it means potentially saving every subsequent life through a clearer understanding of the body's functions and reactions. Perhaps we are on the cusp of understanding something profound about these meat vessels, and society would rather not know. That would certainly explain the overwhelming popular regression to asinine homeopathics such as urine therapy.
Medicine is still more art than science. Between watching far too much House and recalling my father's battles with doctors over his combination high blood pressure and diabetes, I've noticed doctors still take the "throw some drugs at it, see what sticks" approach. This may be doctors simply lining their pockets with lucrative drug referrals, but that's an entirely separate rant for some other time.
And, now I'm off to watch more House. I'll just have to hope there are some glib, unethical docs out there who aren't fictional; doctors who are willing to explore stem cells, cloned tissues, genetics, bionics, and other unpopular regions of tomorrow's medicine.
::
"Why they wanna see my spine mommy?
Why they wanna see my spine?"
Ween, Spinal Meningitis (Got Me Down)
...another fell @ 10/27/2006 10:06:00 AM
^^!
::
"Like a rock, like a planet,
Like a fucking atom bomb!"
Bad Religion, Generator
...another fell @ 7/11/2006 05:38:00 PM
Observation #1
The sun was shining when he left, and his eyes were the exact color of the new shoots of early summer maples. I hadn't seen them so clear and bright in several years.
::
"What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?"
Nine Inch Nails, Right Where It Belongs
...another fell @ 6/24/2006 09:11:00 AM
No Celebrities Were Harmed in the Filming of This Dream
Celebrities have been known to insert themselves as main characters in my dreams for some time now. This phenomenon has recurred at irregular intervals ever since the infamous cafe dream. So here, I attempt to recall and document these appearances, and perhaps some of the circumstances surrounding them. These are roughly in chronological order.
Busta Rhymes - First celebrity dream. I had coffee with him at an outdoor cafe table.
Johnny Depp - Brie and I put the finishing touches on our creation. Then we threw the switch, and Lo and Behold! We'd successfully cloned Johnny Depp. But there was only one of him, and two of us. Much arguing ensued.
William Petersen - Standing in a river, fly fishing, in full regalia. I was swimming with another girl who was supposed to be my cousin, and we started talking with him. He taught us how to fly fish.
Billy Zane - Can't remember the circumstances, but it was at a familiar house, and there were lots of other people around.
Tom Daschle - (D) South Dakota. I didn't even know I knew what he looked like, but I got it dead on. The good Senator was organizing his run for President, and I was his top aide. He was extremely nervous and disorganized, and I had to calm him down. I hear he plans to run in '08. Hopefully he's a little more pulled-together than he was here.
Simon Pegg - Cole and I were staying at this Romanesque resort with lots of stone, columns, reflecting pools, etc. Each "room" was actually a separate little house. Simon snuck into ours through the bathroom window and hid in the shower.
Christina Aguilera - Apparently I was her. Or at least I looked like her. The only aspect of the one and only lucid dream I've ever had that I wasn't able to control.
Apollo Anton Ohno - We were living at a Real World-style reality house, and Apollo was the celebrity designated to live with us regular people. But we were all upset because his gruelling practice schedule meant he was never at the house. He stopped by once to pick up some things. That was it.
Terry Jones - It was at some kind of party in a big, modern white room, but he was sitting all by himself. So I went to talk to him, and he wanted me to touch his knees. Perhaps that's why he was alone.
Kelly Clarkson - On the second night's stay in the HI-Chicago, I had a strange, amalgamous dream that ended with us selling things at some kind of outdoor dirt mall market. Kelly Clarkson arrived and wanted us to go with her in her old beat-up Winnebago. Then I awoke.
Aaron Carter, Gwen Stefani, Big Show, John Cena - Wow. I was a student at this strange, progressive school, where they'd invite two celebrities a day to come and teach/entertain the students, taking "learning is fun" to a whole new level. Gwen Stefani was sitting in on my business math class, showing us a fast way to multiply in our heads (now that I'm awake, I realise the technique was bogus). Then, the celebrities for the next day show up: John Cena and Big Show. John Cena gets on the cafeteria stage and starts his rendition of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." Then Aaron Carter tried to move in on the action from the side stage, since his day at the school wasn't over yet. I think Big Show was about to go clobber him, but I woke up.
Jake Gyllenhaal, Tia Carrere - Daniel and I were walking along a path at something that was part market, part festival with Jake. He was kind of quirky, but very amicable. At one point he ran off ahead, and we eventually found him dressed up in a suit, taking part in a photo shoot with Tia Carrere. She wasn't herself, however; she had come from China and was trying to break into acting.
More when I remember/dream them.
::
"I'll be there for you as long as it works for me"
Nine Inch Nails - Starfuckers, Inc.
...another fell @ 6/15/2006 08:21:00 AM
hari?
Do my Jo/Nohari squares. Pick a couple of words that you feel describe me. Be honest!
Johari
Nohari
::
"Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself"
Nine Inch Nails, Only
...another fell @ 3/28/2006 11:24:00 PM
WooWoo!
Nicked from Matt
Michelle Storrm Serial Killer Extraordinaire |
| 'What will your business card say?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
::
"Soy un perdedor"
Beck, Loser
...another fell @ 3/27/2006 07:41:00 PM
IN
If there seems to be an air of sadness INFP's spirit, blame it on this type's longing for the perfect in all things.
::
"I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself."
Nine Inch Nails, Something I Can Never Have
...another fell @ 2/28/2006 08:24:00 PM
Lifted from Tiffany
Neutron -- You don't take sides, you just sort of
hang out and blend into the crowd. If someone
lets you loose though, you can cause some
serious damage. If you are arround too many
other neutrons you get bored and start to
decay.
What kind of subatomic particle are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
::
"Well, the rain exploded with a mighty crash
as we fell into the sun,
And the first one said to the second one
there I hope you’re having fun."
Paul McCartney, Band on the Run
...another fell @ 1/04/2006 11:12:00 PM
Keep Them Red
Boycott Black Friday. Instead, take the day off, take your kids, and go to a museum, or a park, or bake cookies, or decorate your home for the upcoming holiday. Play some board games. Grab your friends and rent Fight Club. Sleep in. Clean out your closet and donate all your other useless shit to the poor. Go for a brisk walk in the crisp November air through deserted residential streets and think about how empty their minds, hearts and wallets are.
Most of all, stick it to the corporations who made us into their grovelling, submissive consumer bitches.
::
"Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car."
Tool, Aenima
...another fell @ 11/24/2005 08:08:00 PM
Cos why shouldn't I put up yet another meme?
Candy Cigarettes |
 You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good. |
::
"You little yellow sweetie
You were hiding in a jar
Now my mind is gone completely
Take off the lid and there you are"
Presidents of the United States of America, Candy
...another fell @ 10/13/2005 11:27:00 PM
See the animal in its cage that you built
Are you sure what side you're on?
Better not look him too closely in the eye
Are you sure what side of the glass you are on?
See the safety of the life you have built
Everything where it belongs
Feel the hollowness inside of your heart
And it's all
Right where it belongs
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks?
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
What if all the world's inside of your head
Just creations of your own?
Your devils and your gods
All the living and the dead
And you really are alone
You can live in this illusion
You can choose to believe
You keep looking but you can't find the woods
While you're hiding in the trees
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you used to know
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection
Is it all you wanted to be?
What if you could look right through the cracks
Would you find yourself
Find yourself afraid to see?
::
Nine Inch Nails, Right Where It Belongs
...another fell @ 9/16/2005 04:01:00 PM
Revelations
On a hot Saturday afternoon in September, I've come to some realizations that are bringing me the joy and confidence of finally having some kind of concrete world view. I don't have all the concepts completely worked out, but this is what I've come to so far:
There are only three processes that constitute all meaning:
Creation
Fluctuation
Destruction
Man created God as an unrefined demonstration of knowledge of these processes. Man inherently understands the meaning of life; we live it everyday. What we don't know is how to describe it. This mythology is a solid metaphor and gives added depth of meaning for most people. Since I've always had a problem with the lack of simplicity in religious concepts, I began to doubt it's validity.
Love is a great and worthy pursuit, as it ultimately operates under all three principles. It influences change in ourselves and others. It leads to creation of all kinds: art, music, and even new life. It amplifies destruction: the loss of a loved one is more destructive than the loss of a stranger.
The only thing that could be called inherently "evil" or meaningless is stagnation. In stagnation, none of the three processes take place. I haven't yet decided what nothingness is.
I also haven't worked out if there ever was an initial creation of substance from nothingness, or if nothingness could ever have existed. The laws of nature say "no" so at the moment, I'm inclined to agree. Bear with me, I'm still trying to wrap my head around these things.
How I got here remains a mystery even to me. But at least I have something to really contemplate now. I'll have to return later to re-read and revise.
::
...another fell @ 9/10/2005 04:46:00 PM
w00t!
| Personality Disorder Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
::
"He coughed up snot in the driveway
And I think his lung's fucked up"
Ween, Mister Would You Please Help My Pony?
...another fell @ 7/09/2005 05:15:00 PM
Here in my Bedroom
On the day before I started my Senior year of high school, I had a nervous breakdown. I was on a course that lead dreadfully to the rest of my life. I was comfortable where I was, with who I was. I just wanted some more time to explore being that bright being that inhabited this little corner of my parents' house.
At that time in my life, my bedroom was my sanctuary. More than that, it was my whole world. Here I stayed up late, discovering the internet. Here I developed my varied tastes in music. Here, in this very room, I spent countless hours building the framework of me.
I had a cozy little setup. My desk was situated comfortably in my former closet, with a light and a full bookshelf nestled close behind. My walls were covered in clippings of my interests. Every inch of the room was doused in my influence. I lived in this room and loved it. It was mine.
On the day before Senior year, while I was away, my mom decided to rearrange my room. My cozy little desk came out of the closet. My miscellany wasn't where I'd left it. My comfortable haven suddenly felt foreign to me. On this particular day, when I needed my escape pod most, I found it had been jettisoned.
So I had a nervous breakdown. Who knows what other psychological factors were conspiring against me on that particular day to cause something so mundane to thrust me into such malaise. Yet, there it was.
Back in that same bedroom, I sit tonight and revisit those feelings. Since I moved away to college, every visit home has seen the room transformed into less and less of me. Something would be moved, or missing altogether. Some things gone are long forgotten, and hardly missed. Some things I would drag out on every visit home and reflect on the differences of then and now. I'd examine the bookshelf to see if the same tomes sat on its shelves. I'd dig through the drawers to see what trinkets I'd left behind and if I needed to reassimilate any of them into my current life. I'd pull out my favorite prom dress and try it on to see just how big my ass has gotten.
Tonight, these trappings of my old life have all but disappeared. It's been about 4 months since I'd been here last. Suddenly, all my old clothes have disappeared. The furniture is reordered yet again. The shelf that contained my diploma, cap and tassel, and award certificates have been replaced by a miniature Christian shrine. Only tiny specks of my young life still cling to the walls like forgotten stains of time. My music medals still hang by the door. The same vase still holds my NHS roses, though it now sits in a far corner. How long until all traces of me have been erased from this house? How long should I have expected them to remain?
I find these feelings stupid and selfish. Why do I feel angry that I have been removed from this house, even though I've lived successfully on my own for years, with no need to return? What is the statute of limitations on leaving your old stuff at your parents house before it gets thrown out, packed up, or given away? And if I cared about these things so damn much, why didn't I take them with me long ago?
I am ashamed of feeling this way. These are merely objects of plastic, paper, cloth. They don't define me, yet I am unnaturally attached to them. But being cursed with this poor memory, it is only by looking at these objects that the stories of my past are retold. Perhaps I resent that my memories are being taken away without my permission.
Or perhaps I'll be over it in the morning.
::
"Listen to my muscle memory
Contemplate what I've been clinging to"
Tool, Forty-six and Two
...another fell @ 4/29/2005 11:52:00 PM
The Associated Press: "People adored him"
I have just learned of the passing of Jerry Orbach.
Here's to our beloved Lennie, gone to that big pool hall in the sky.
[::]
...another fell @ 12/31/2004 01:45:00 AM
Internet Purification Ritual
I just subjected an old friend to both goatse and tubgirl in one night. I then made up for it by giving him Spamusement.
Was that totally fair? Probably not. But at least the rest of the interweb will be that much more informative and insightful in comparison.
Yo, I kinda feel like Tyler Durden.
So, for the rest of you not totally jaded by the internet, here's another reason you should be. Today's Google Image search, courtesy Mr. Ferlin is: Pickle
the porn: Not suprisingly, it's right there on page 1. Apparently the girl who likes using pickles for things other than their intended purpose goes by the delightful moniker "Satanshobag." I'm sure she'll go far.
[::]
"Don't fret precious I'm here
Step away from the window"
A Perfect Circle, Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums
...another fell @ 12/15/2004 01:02:00 AM
Give and Take
The Current Events in
Current Song: J.S. Bach - Air for the G String
Current Book: The Club Dumas - Arturo Pérez-Reverte
Current Mood: Unsettled
Current Video Game: Playing navigator as Cole plays Metroid
Current Fear: My inability to escape
Current Amount of Money: officially, $30-something, but it's more like $0.
Current Guilt: All that wasted education
Current "Gives Me A Smile" Moment: Cole, doing anything
Current Song Change: REM - E-bow the Letter
Current Plans For Tomorrow: Work, grocery shopping
Current Different Thing I've Done: Adding questions to this questionnaire
Current Disturbance in the Force: Being torn betwixt the potential disturbance caused by researching the Bohemian Club and the nagging curiosity of not researching it.
Current Interest: Scraping all the dust off my keyboard
Current Favourite Quote: "The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time." --Friedrich Nietzsche
Current Wish: $35,000 a year
Current Time: 1:29 AM Central
Current Anime: Gankutsuou
Current Song Change: Snow Patrol - Chocolate
Current Lyric: This could be the very minute I'm aware I'm alive
Current Clipboard contents: [1:35am]
Current Annoyance: That little twinge in my back x___X
Current Nagging Thought: That I'm forgetting something... as usual.
Current Spam E-mail Header: Would you rather give or receive… a FREE* $300 gift card.
Current Homepage: Firefox: LiveScience IE: Sharingan Network
Current Entertainment Sources: Internet, Music, and DVD
Current Lofty Aspiration: To be a scientist
Current Song Change: Gordon Lightfoot - The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
Ah, now that's taken care of. I know the photo-blogs are overdone, but I like them. I'd do one if I had a camera phone. Until that time somewhere in the distance, I'm going to do a little different take on the photo-blog. Instead, I've noticed that you're hard-pressed to do an innocent Google Image search (with safe search off) that doesn't turn up porn, hentai, nude art, or other naughty images. So whenever I post, I'll think of a word to search for, post the first thumbnail of the search, and tell you on what page the porn first pops up.
So, then: inaugural search will be: fluffy
pr0n: page 1, goatse. What a way to start -__-;
[::]
"There's a blade by the bed
And a phone in my hand"
Shivaree, Goodnight Moon
...another fell @ 12/14/2004 01:08:00 AM
It's that time again
(swiped from lucyjin)
|
You Are the Investigator |
|
5 You're independent - and a logical analytical thinker. You love learning and ideas... and know things no one else does. Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations. You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it. |
...another fell @ 12/07/2004 01:40:00 AM
Post-hiatus at the end of being 24
Doesn't that sound like an indie film title?
I'm back, and so is Naps, with our spiffy new blog layouts. That means I'll be posting through February, then I'll fall off the wagon again until June. I see a pattern forming.
As usual, there's not much new in my little life. I have another birthday tomorrow, which should pass rather quietly. Nowadays, it's really just a part of Christmas.
So now I should wax nostalgic about all the things that happened to me while I was 24. I'm sorry to disappoint, but this was a fairly uneventful age. We're still in the same town, I still have the same job (with more responsibility and a new GM), and I have glasses now. Saying that it was uneventful does not mean that it was bad by any means. We had one of the best summers on record and lived more comfortably on our own than ever before. So all in all, life was good.
I can't think of anything else to expound upon before work, so I will stop here.
[::]
"Roll the window down
this cool night air is curious"
Deftones, Passenger
...another fell @ 12/06/2004 11:15:00 AM
So accurate, it's scary
| How to make a saiyajin18 |
| Ingredients: 3 parts anger 5 parts silliness 1 part ego |
| Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of caring and enjoy! |
Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com
...another fell @ 6/13/2004 11:17:00 AM
Grab the nearest book. Find the 5th sentence on page 23. Append it to the paragraph below. Append your name to the list below of people who have contributed to the paragraph. Post the result to your LJ.
They also talk of our being guilty of injustice, and their being the victims of an unjustifiable war. Brandy, and Tom got increasingly close-mouthed and sour. Although a certain sense of tripartite society survived down to Christian times, the three classes described in the Eddic poem "Rigdthula" bear little resemblance to Dumezil's three. It is often argued, and still oftener thought, that none but bad men would desire to weaken these salutary beliefs; and there can be nothing wrong,it is thought, in restraining bad men, and prohibiting what only such men would wish to practice. At its nearest point the wall was little more than one league from the City, and that was south-eastward. When he saw Jack Hare jump towards the fire, and the Practical Man brandishing the toasting-fork, Sir Isaac grabbed the strings of gravitational force that bound Jack to his destiny and PULLED--- That's a seventy-four gun privateer, besides. To honour a group of British nobles, treacherously slain at a conference by Hengist's guards, Aurelius decides to erect a great monument near Amesbury. That being so, he did not chortle when he went upstairs. Let stand. This ensures that when the garbage collector runs, it has complete access to the memory in the heap and can perform its tasks safely without the threat of being preempted by another thread. And then you may begin to laugh. The data are stored in Column 1 and renamed "Age." Pull your hand back. I don't remember that any secrets were revealed to me, nor do I remember any avid curiosity on my part to learn something I wasn't supposed to--perhaps I was too young to know what to listen for. You don't remember how awful it is being normal. This population appears to have remained static until around 2000BC when the Greek tribes arrived on the mainland, overpowering and submerging the previous cultures. Using all that you know about this civilization, translate one of the seals for us, using at least one good paragraph. Many expert players prefer to fully develop only one skill line, with the other skill lines partially developed or even ignored. Those chilling blue eyes which seemed to be able to read his every thought; her shrewd management of his master's affairs, be it buying a field or placating that old grey granite-faced king. Pitch pocket: an opening in the wood that contains solid or liquid pitch. On rare occasions, however, the planes may intersect and, for a brief moment, tear a hole, or gateway, through the fabric of space itself, which opens up a hole - or gateway - between these two universes. This ability to apply styles to elements is obviously very powerful. Defends "negative" (veto) on state laws. Additionally, the study shows that the gender gap in science continues to increase. He is too intelligent to plunge down that precipitous shape. I wandered on for a while with closed eyes, keeping myself awake only by a loud and regular clapping of my hands.
1) Ranger Rick - 2) rialian - 3) elenbarathi - 4) starsandfishes - 5) echthros - 6) doltaghey - 7) ebonhost - 8) tibicina 9) browngirl 10) ceo 11>) roozle 12) quietann 13) Dale (achinhibitor) 14) tigerbright 15) autographedcat 16) gridlore -17) murphymom - 18) kightp - 19)klwalton - 20)k4bidyke 21) phinnia 22) wordripples 23) mactavish 24)ticktockman 25)avoided_island 26) saiyajin18
...another fell @ 6/05/2004 02:34:00 PM
Swiped from shinimegami
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was closer to you?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I lovable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could/would kill someone?
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
34. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?
[::]
"You can’t illuminate what time has anchored down"
Fiona Apple, Carrion
...another fell @ 6/05/2004 02:13:00 PM
kaBOOM!
| Saiyajin18 may explode without warning |
| M EXPLOSIVE |
From Go-Quiz.com
[::]
"Ellos me quieren mirar
Pero si tu no los dejas"
Chingon, Malaguena
...another fell @ 5/23/2004 09:56:00 AM
Wheeeeeee
Thursday was a day of ups and downs. My Topaz began to rattle whenever it idled, which worried us to no end. When I got home from work, there was a pre-approval letter waiting for me from a local car dealer. It had to be a sign.
I went down to the dealer and filled out some paperwork, and was shown a couple cars, including a 98 Malibu that I fell for immediately. However, it was too late to find out what loans I was eligible for, since the banks were all closed.
Friday I begged to be let out of work early to go finish the deal. I was out by noon and went to the dealer at 1. The salesman led me to another office, where the manager broke the news. I was only approved for a newer car with payments over $200 per month. I looked at the 03 Cavalier disinterestedly, and left the dealer heavy hearted.
Just as I pulled into the lot behind my apartment, the manager called me back, wondering why I didn't go see him. He found me a loan for the Malibu, but the payments would be slightly higher than I'd hoped. After contemplating a bit, I returned to the dealer, eager to finish the deal.
Can you believe they gave me $1500 for this?
And, I got to drive home with this.
I miss the Topaz for sentimental reasons (I did have it for 6 years), but I feel a nice lack of car-related stress. I got to drive it to my brother's wedding on Saturday and suprise my parents, who have a new car of their own. It was a nice day of new beginnings.
But then things turned political. The service was held at a Lutheran church, and though the organist sucked, the wedding was small and beautiful. That is, until the pastor began a spiel that condemned the "perversion" of marriage by same sex couples. Not only did that kind of negativity have no place at a wedding, it seems to me that a wedding day should be a celebration of the couple's decision to marry, not a platform for the pastor's personal agenda. If it wasn't my brother's wedding, I would have walked out.
The rest of the night was nice. My uncle Ed and aunt Anne showed up at the reception. The last time I talked to these two colorful characters was at my brother's first wedding, when I was only 12. They're both in their late 70s now, and seeing them again made me want to have my own wedding soon so they'll be around to see it.
The last few days were certainly a whirlwind.
Let's hope the next have some good in store.
(They must, I just found my misplaced keys... ^^;)
[::]
"And I always sleep with my guns when you're gone"
Shivaree, Goodnight Moon
...another fell @ 5/16/2004 09:14:00 PM
Sitting here
Watched Kill Bill v. 2 again today. The first part didn't seem quite as slow, since I knew exactly how long it would last. Pai Mei kicks ass.
It was a gorgeous, hot, steamy summer day. All I wanted to do was drive to Lake Michigan, find a beach, and walk.
With soaring gas prices, we're pretty much confined to home. Plus, my car still needs an oil change.
I want to start a new game, and my only option at the moment is FF6. Tomorrow.
E3 is still too far off. I want KH and FF details NOW!
I finished a very stylized wallpaper today.
I'm waiting for a thunderstorm.
Stir-crazy.
[::]
"Touched, you say that i am too"
VAST, Touched
...another fell @ 5/08/2004 10:49:00 PM
:rotfl:
[6:59pm] <@Gogeta619> you banned him like 10 minutes ago and he already has a 10 page essay about why he's not pissed :P
[::]
"Another victim dies tonight"
Disturbed, The Game
...another fell @ 5/05/2004 07:06:00 PM
Things that go bump in the early afternoon.
There's a lot of pounding going on outside my door. The people here frighten me, so I won't go investigate. However, it sounds like they're throwing an aluminum ladder down the stairs.
Since I last published, we rearranged the apartment and put up movie posters. We also acquired two new swords: the Sword of the Daywalker and the Nazgul sword. I took a hiatus from the center as I fell into the routine of my new job, then subsequently started posting again. I'm becoming pretty comfortable with the job, and with the new team and new processes, we're really getting some great results. Soon I'll have to interview with Paul to make the position official. :p
Wow, other than that, it's been a time filled with work, movies, general boredom, and automotive ennui.
I'll try to find something more exciting to write about the next time I take a month-long break.
[::]
"oh god
has she left here?
(I think she has)"
Flaming Lips, Pilot Can at the Queer of God
...another fell @ 5/02/2004 12:08:00 PM
Lacking
Ahh, the lack of updates. I apologize for that. We went home for a weekend, which is always nice. Not-so-nice is the computer I've been tied to for the past week. Jen's boyfriend's computer is a slow, loud, clogged up piece of crap, and I've been charged with the task of making it run better. The best way I could manage that would be to build him a new computer. Short of that, I've been trying everything in order to bring OS start times down and make it run multiple programs more smoothly.
Work's sucked (as usual).
Then yesterday we headed up to Johnson Creek to buy Cole shoes and a shirt for my brother's wedding. It was nice to have a day off and be able to spend the whole time with Cole. Now we won't have a day off together until Sunday, I'm sure.
Now that I'm back on my own computer (even for a little while) I don't know what to do with myself. So I'll go figure it out.
[::]
"What is the shape of silence?"
Kinky, The Headphonist
...another fell @ 4/08/2004 08:48:00 AM
Yay!
Thank you, all who take the time to read.
Last night we were in for inventory, which went more smoothly than ever before. The majority of the wis team was very fast and accurate, and there were only one or two who left a wake of destruction in Women's. So, despite how well the night went, I still had to listen to Brie bitch. O well.
A few more dishes to do, then I'm off to work. After that, it's home for the weekend.
[::]
"But I'm always on the run"
Lenny Kravitz, Mama Said
...another fell @ 3/25/2004 11:40:00 AM
With Her Last Breath, She Gasped:
[::]
"And settin' fuckin' fires!"
Tenacious D, City Hall
...another fell @ 3/22/2004 11:16:00 PM
Tweak
I've finished fine-tuning my blog post formats, so now I can post. I like the dual format; I just hope our differing post styles aren't distracting. My labor of love in all this is the fanart you see in the middle, which took several hours to complete yesterday, but I'm very happy with the results. I loved this idea as soon as I saw it, but the original image that was in the center really irked me--it was small, dark, and grainy.
Sleep is behind, work is ahead. Mental preparation is upon me.
[::]
"after all is done
we're still alone
I won't be taken"
Pearl Jam, Garden
...another fell @ 3/18/2004 10:10:00 AM
^__X
Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net
...and I didn't even cheat by picking "dirty book" or "dirty movie."
[::]
"Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride"
U2, Pride (In The Name Of Love)
...another fell @ 3/16/2004 07:38:00 PM
You See What Happens, Larry?
I'm not getting the shipment job.
CJ told Paul that Cole and I were in a relationship. Under company policy, that disallows us from working in the same area. Hence, either Cole goes or I don't get the job. But, since the job wasn't "promised" to me anyways, I can't do or say anything. Apparently she's digging her own grave with Paul anyways.
Thanks CJ.
Cole's going job hunting tomorrow. Hopefully he finds something that gives him more hours and less bullshit. Then we'll have more money and I can take on the promotion, pwn it, and effectively render CJ's opinion irrelevant. I know I can do the job. I felt the desire to be in charge the minute I worked shipment today. A little training in the process and I will pwn.
We'll see what happens now.
[::]
"So while you sit back and wonder why
I got this fucking thorn in my side"
Beastie Boys, Sabotage
...another fell @ 3/16/2004 07:09:00 PM
Re-Re
After contemplating all my reading possibilities, I decided to restart The Divine Comedy, this time with full intentions to finish all three volumes.
Gotta jump in the shower. I work at 1, and today is the day I say yes to the new job description.
*ph33rs*
[::]
"I think I'm ready now
(I think I'm ready now)"
Britney Spears, Toxic
...another fell @ 3/15/2004 11:51:00 AM
Finally
I signed up for a Livejournal account to I can actually reply to some of your blogs. Look for me, I'm saiyajin18
Wheeeeee!
[::]
"I need sanctuary in the pages of this book"
The Mars Volta, Son et Lumiere
...another fell @ 3/14/2004 10:01:00 AM
More
I was also set to change the battery on Cole's car so we could move it before the landlord got too upset. I yanked out the old battery and realised: the new one isn't the right kind.
=__=;
[::]
"I just want to start this over"
Tool, Sober
...another fell @ 3/13/2004 01:12:00 PM
Precipitous
Tool was dripping from the speakers. As we drove uptown, two robins flew across the road in the chilly pre-spring air, which was buzzing with promise. I was full of anticipation. Wendi had called me in to talk this morning, about something very important. Something that would require my decision.
I waited in the office for her to get the others checked in and working. When she returned, she spoke to me briefly about some future restructuring before laying her proposal on the table. The shipment captain position was going to be moved up in rank, equivalent Assistant Manager. She wanted me for the spot.
I was ecstatic, initially. But then the hard blows came. I had planned to resume school full time in the fall, taking classes all day on Tuesdays and Thursdays. If I take the job, Tuesdays and Thursdays will be mandatory. If I take MWF classes, I'll have a hard time retaining my current working hours, which will completely dash our hopes of purchasing CJ's Monte Carlo, or any other car for that matter. Then there is Cole to think about. He's been pining for the shipment captain position ever since Amelia was fired, and has been working his ass off to be recognized. This is a slap in the face, and what's worse: it's coming from me. He knows far more about the shipment team and the work flow they maintain than I do. How can I possibly be his boss?
If I don't go back to school, I won't get my degree. That doesn't bother me as much as the sense of unfinished business that will haunt me. I always told myself my parents should have had four children so one of us would graduate from college. Joe dropped out of high school, Jon graduated but never went to college. I somehow knew I'd make it to college but end up dropping out. Maybe the fourth would have finished. I know it will put a dent in my relationship with my parents. How would I explain to them that I won't be going back to school when I've reassured them again and again that I'd finish? I used to see myself as some kind of scholar. I still have delusions about it; I dream of the private library we'll eventually accumulate. I still see myself as an artist at times. I think about the works that are creating themselves inside my head, but none will come to life. I even hope someday to write; to find my name among the shelves at Barnes & Noble, and I think about the sublime sense of accomplishment that would cause. I really don't want much out of life. I want to be with Cole. I want a modest income to support our movie/sword/book/computer addictions. I want a vehicle to get us from place to place. I want somewhere small to live. I want to read. I want to occasionally go places I've never been. I want to visit our families from time to time. I want to create something beyond myself. That's about it.
These are my options:
If I quit school and take the job: I'll find myself making at least $10 an hour, a grand total of just over $20,000 a year. I'll be steeped in the benefit of health, vision, and life insurance, and a 401k if I so choose. With over 150 stores opening in the next two years, there would be plenty of room for advancement to Manager and possibly even GM. Wendi wouldn't give me a specific figure, but she did note that she makes much more than she would teaching. A few months ago, I set myself to the modest goal of $30k by 30. With just six years to complete that task, this seems to be the most feasible way to achieve that goal. However, I'll be tied to a company with which I'm growing increasingly disenchanted. Any plans for advancement will inevitably require a move, which may or may not be a bad thing. If nothing else, it will give me good management experience, which I can take anywhere.
If I keep my current position and complete school: I'll save us $300 a month in student loan payments that we really can't afford. However, I will still have class fees and supplies to think about, above and beyond the cost of additional school. I'll get my degree, but then what? I certainly don't think I'll learn much that I don't already know. What are the honest chances, with that many graphic design students who are more creative and motivated than I am, that I'll land a design job where I'll make this much money? Other than satisfying my parents and my ego, a degree will do nothing for me.
If I take the job and go back part time: I need to see if I can take 3 MWF classes and still have enough time to work 40 hours per week. This is harder than it sounds, since one studio class can meet for up to 3 hours. It'll also take twice as long to finally graduate, and I'll have to explain to my parents again why it's taking so long for me to finish school. It certainly seems to be the best option at the moment: I'll get the money we need, and I'll keep repayment at bay. But can I handle it?
All this could have been prevented.
Why didn't I ever listen?
Fuck.
[::]
"I am just a worthless liar.
I am just an imbecile.
I will only complicate you.
Trust in me and fall as well."
Tool, Sober
...another fell @ 3/13/2004 01:02:00 PM
IEXPLORE.COM
After 12 hours of virus removal, my system is once again clean and clear. Somehow I got the OptixPro 10 trojan, and my system didn't find it until after I had installed Trillian, which itself threw Avast into a tizzy. So, I will remain sans IM programs for now. AIM can't be trusted, since the installer also placed some spyware/malware on my system in the form of WildTangent and Viewpoint Media Player. Trillian won't play well with Avast. I don't use ICQ anymore, even though I still remember my UIN from eons ago (4461530, for any curious parties). Perhaps some time in the future, I may pick that up again. But for now, I'm just happy to have my system back in order.
For anyone else's future reference... If you're ever unable to run .exe's, you can rename IEXPLORE.EXE to IEXPLORE.COM and it will run just fine. Then you can at least research your problem. You can also change regedit to a .com in order to rid your registry of the problem.
The good news relates to anime. I saw the first episode of Chrno Crusade today, and it looks great. I'll probably watch the other 14 episodes tomorrow. ^^
Well, back to The Dante Club. James Russell Lowell has just ambushed his mysterious visitor and has a hunting rifle pointed at the chap's chest.
[::]
"Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease"
Coldplay, Clocks
...another fell @ 3/11/2004 01:23:00 PM
Unf Unf Unf
As I bump along to the anime/game ost shoutcast pouring from Cole's comp, I realize the morning has gone by entirely too quickly. We work from 3 to midnight today rearranging the backroom, which isn't a bad deal at all. Hard labor > customer service any day. Then, when it's all done, we get to do fun stuff like paint the walls. I doubt it will even take until midnight to complete this project with Wendi, Cole and I, and possibly a fourth person all working on it.
I had several messed up dreams last night, at a rate of about one per hour. The only one I remember was me standing in the parking lot behind our building. The lot was shorter than it is, and where the bank is, was Knylans Hall from UW-Whitewater, only it looked like the six-pack halls. I was showing a bratty dark-haired girl and her father where she was allowed to park, since all the parking in those lots and on the road was 2 hour parking.
*shrug* It must have something to do with the fact that Cole's car was about to be towed yesterday for being "abandoned." In the ensuing call to the landlord, I learned that the building will once again be fully rented, which means another round of parking problems for us. Yippee.
And...
Woo! My family rocks!
\m/ >.< \m/
::
"Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?"
Foo Fighters, Times Like These
...another fell @ 3/10/2004 01:26:00 PM
*sigh*
Well, I made it to work today. It was so hot and crowded in the store, though, that after a short while I got sick all over again, so they sent me home. And for some reason, I feel horrible about it. I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired of being sick, because I inconvenienced some co-workers, or if it was all just psychological and I got sick because I just didn't want to be there today. I can't deny the way my stomach still feels, though. So I'll take today to physically and mentally prepare for tomorrow.
I'm still not sure if I want to look for a different job or not. I know I strongly dislike this one much of the time, but I do feel useful and needed. For what I do, I get paid quite well, and I won't find that kind of pay and hours anywhere besides 3rd shift at a gas station, dealing with drunks, high school idiots, and the ever-present possibility of armed robbery. I'll also get health and vision insurance in less than a month. I really shouldn't fuck that up until I get my free glasses and a clean bill of health. Then there's the imminent raise in July, and the ability to keep my hours even though I'm going back to school in fall.
No. I need to stay. We're in the slump of the year, when working there sucks the most. As summer comes, it will be more fun, and I'll find my groove again. Plus, I just came off of being sick, and I'm crabby. I guess I should stop whining, ne?
"Buck up, little camper. We'll beat this slope together."
::
"Thinking you know
Thinking you see all sides"
Bush, Synapse
...another fell @ 3/07/2004 12:30:00 PM
eehehehe
Which OS are You?
::
"It's what you do"
R.E.M. Turn You Inside Out
...another fell @ 3/06/2004 08:59:00 PM
Better?
I managed to make a recovery within 24 hours. I must say that the flu is one of my least favorite illnesses. And now I get to deal with cramps. I love being a woman. >_<*
In a rash of not-so-good judgement, I decided I wanted to replay FFVIII for the 4th or 5th time. This time its a game for Cole and I to play at our leisure.
In site news, I've been approved for the Olaf Oleeson fanlisting. For those of you not familiar, he's Silent Bob's Russian cousin in Clerks. ("Did he just say 'making fuck?'"). I've also gained 3 new members at the Konohamaru fanlisting. WHEEE!
I keep getting spammed with random SkyNet-generated emails, with random headers like "Is it true?" and bodies that respond "I think so!!" Strange. At least it's interesting to see who has my email address somewhere on their system, and what kind of auto-generated lunacy will try to get me to open the .zip.
Speaking of viruses, for those of you that have joined my fanlisting, or may join one in the future: I do spam-proof the email addresses before they're put on the page. It protects a virus or bot from reading the email address out of the page source and spamming you. So rest assured that if you are getting spam, they didn't get your address from me.
That being said, I'm going to take a SeeD exam.
::
"Bound with all the weight of all the words he tried to say"
Oasis Cast no Shadow
...another fell @ 3/06/2004 11:46:00 AM
Bleh
It turns out Cole didn't have food poisoning. He had the flu. And now I have the flu.
::
"In the darkness that surrounds me
I see my own special hel"
Gabriel Mann, My Little Box
...another fell @ 3/05/2004 11:26:00 AM
W00!
I am now one of 2 official movie reviewers at Swift Action. Yay for movies! Yay for writing essays on how good they are! Yay for being able to tear apart shitty ones!
::
"Bakin' carrot biscuits!"
Misheard lyrics
BTO, Takin' Care of Business
...another fell @ 2/28/2004 12:25:00 AM
Reader's Block
With three books in progress already (Tolkien's Silmarillion, Hugo's Les Miserables, and Matthew Pearl's The Dante Club), I've picked up yet another book on a recent trip to Madison. This one is somewhat heavier fare: The Elegant Universe: Superstrings, Hidden Dimensions, and the Quest for the Ultimate Theory by Brian Greene, itself an elegant take on the battle between quantum mechanics and general relativity to explain how our universe works, including a fairly deep dive into string theory. I'm certain I'll put down Tolkien and Hugo for a while, but I'm thinking of giving The Dante Club another chance before settling in with physics.
Almost, but not quite gone are the trifecta of uselessness and stupidity at work. Alyssa quit, Jamie quit. Upon hearing she was hired at a restaurant-in-progress, Nicole quit, but then begged to stay on until the place actually opened. I think you can figure out who the weakest link is.
Also: I think my dyslexic tendencies are worsening. Upon glancing at this women's graphic tee today, I thought it said "LOINS," which provided a good laugh for my coworkers.
Tomorrow we're all going out for Brie's birthday, which should provide some entertaining blog-fodder for Sunday.
I guess I should have entitled this entry Read/Write Block, since I'm already out of things to say. Instead, here's a banner.
::
"Sometimes it rains inside my head
All the words run dry"
Medicine, Time Baby III
...another fell @ 2/27/2004 08:37:00 PM
All's Well
All appears to be nominal again after Cole's bout with food poisoning. I'll have to be a little less retarded next time I cook, cos that was a harrowing bit of experience. I'm happy, though, cos today he's eating crackers and drinking. I think he'll be completely recovered by tomorrow. ^^
Since everyone else was sick, I got to be the Chuushin mangaka and not only put up the manga, but also write the news post. Pretty cool, except that Noob's been feeling out of sorts, and goes down every 5 to 15 minutes. I wish Cole and I had access to the full bandwidth of a leased line; we've been itching to build a server or something exotic (see the Kyubi/Shukaku project, 2.17.04). Getting that kind of bandwidth would give us a valid excuse, and we'd host Chuushin. But, since I don't see us moving into Chicago any time soon, I don't think that will ever be the case.
I reinstalled AIM after a year or so absence, so any of you who've been itching to get a hold of me, you can. Brett, if you happen to be reading this, I apologize for being absent last night. I was putting up the manga and attending to my sick Cole. I'm sure I'll catch you online again soon.
And that's all the information I've got.
::
"I write these stupid words
And I love every one"
Weezer, In The Garage
...another fell @ 2/22/2004 11:25:00 AM
Business
Old:
Just added two more pending members to our little { R I V A L E D } family! ^^
I should really get around to adding additional content to keep you coming back. I'll get some fun stuff soon, I promise!
Jen brought her computer into work for me to look at. It's been acting really fucky lately; locking up at random. When I actually looked at it, I could see why:
1) It's running Windows ME
2) It was clogged up with over 600 pieces of spyware
3) It was running about 45 processes, over half of which were unnecessary
4) It's a little on the old & slow side.
I really wanted to do a full reformat and install Win2k, but she doesn't remember her AOL password, so removing it in any way was out of the question. She's not exactly computer literate, so I wanted to keep things as streamlined as possible. Instead, I did a full update, trimmed out the fat, cleaned up all the dead programs, and automated some upkeep processes, and it runs quite nicely now. I hope she likes the wallpaper and theme revamp I gave her too. ^^
New:
Despite the Chuushin v. Inane drama that's unfolding everywhere over the recent manga issue, I feel blissfully unbothered. For those of you out of the loop, after some recent squabbling between both parties' staff members, Inane added a little Chuushin-bashing to the cover of this week's manga, and banned known Chuushin staff from the #mangareaders channel. We released as usual, but ralph decided that the slur should be turned back at Inane, and made a sarcastic newspost asking why they would say such horrible things about themselves. It was not well received within the Naruto community.
We're now the bad guys, because we change a few non-important elements before distributing it. Apparently the fact that "Inane" is emblazoned all over the front isn't enough, we have to leave it in the filename as well, so people who are too retarded to see it on the cover will know who released it. Apparently the fact that we acknowledge Inane in the newspost isn't enough, because people are too lazy to read. Apparently, the fact that we distro it at all is illegal now that Viz has licensed it, yet everyone fails to make the connection that it's even more illegal for Inane to make it in the first place.
Whatever. I don't really care. I just want the record set straight. We don't do what we do to be assholes.
The Issues at hand:
PNG to JPG: We had all the old manga releases in .jpg. For sake of uniformity, we continued releasing in .jpg instead of changing over to .png. Inane confronted us long ago, and the matter was resolved.
Removing pages: A color plate was left off the beginning of a recent release. We didn't realize it was part of the manga, we just thought it was someone's fanart. We left the original first page on the manga when we released it. Had we known that this was an official part of the manga, we would have left it on. Fkn srry.
Removing Inane's credits or adding Chuushin credits: This HAS NEVER HAPPENED. It WILL NEVER HAPPEN. If Inane feels they don't have enough credits on the manga release, they should put their name on every page. Next.
Changing the manga images in any way: This also has never happened, up until the last release. In response to the anti-Chuushin front cover, one of our members changed only the statement at the bottom to be anti-Inane. It was simply retaliation for making this issue public. Fight fire with fire, as they say.
Changing filenames: We did change the filenames. It made it (GASP!) uniform to a previous naming system. When all the images are piled on the server, we wanted to be able to find them quickly. It was only done to streamline our uploading process and keep our server organized. If someone can't read Inane's name on the front fucking cover of the manga, they don't deserve manga. And for those of you that download the manga to keep it on your own system, how many of you take the Inane tag out of the filename for your own organizational purposes? For shame! Wanting to stay organized like that! What if your little brother finds it on there and can't tell who made it?
Being assholes: I guess that's your opinion. We at Chuushin have grown to realize we're a unique bunch in the Naruto fan community. Our member base is generally older, very intelligent, bitter, sarcastic, and opinionated. We crack inappropriate jokes. We drink and swear. We like toilet humor. We make fun of other people not because it makes us feel cool or powerful, but because stupid people are funny. Get over your oppressed suburban-American bleeding-heart liberalism and wake up. The world is not PC. It's not all daisies and warm fuzzy feelings. It's cold, hard, and deadly. People out there hate you and your knee-jerk censorship. If you don't grow to embrace that fact, the world will devour you whole. I shall not mourn your loss.
Oh yeah, and it's still fun to laugh at stupid people.
Other:
It's supposed to reach the mid 40's by midweek! ^^
::
"When the morning gather the rainbow
Want you to know, I'm a rainbow too"
Bob Marley, Sun is Shining
...another fell @ 2/14/2004 03:26:00 PM
Let's See What You Got, Japanese People
I need a source for obtaining Shonen Jump scans as soon after its Japan release as humanly possible. So what say you, fan scanners? Anyone interested in getting me some Naruto raw scans faster than has ever been done before? It's for a great cause. :D
Seriously. Contact me.
::
"sekaijuu hora
waratteru sora
miagete
saa tachiagatte"
Orange Range, Viva Rock~Japanese Side
...another fell @ 2/10/2004 09:32:00 PM
Now Playing (Inside My Head)
I'm Counting UFOs
I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy
Happy
::
"My hands are busy in the air"
Incubus, Wish You Were Here
...another fell @ 2/10/2004 12:48:00 AM
Now for Wrath... Now for Ruin... and the Red Dawn...
o_o
That's the face I'm making now. We have just arrived safely from Delavan. The stretch of highway 14 we traveled was mired in foot-high drifts, one so long and deep that 4 cars slid into the ditch in the same spot. I nearly joined them, but kept my head well enough to pick my way through. And so, we made it.
We also made it home from our trip safely, to find our apartment just as we'd left it. Even Alexander survived our absence and looks more or less healthy. He's eating and does not appear to be suffering from any ailments. A good end.
Where is the horse and the rider? Who cares, I know we're here, and that's all I need to know.
::
"Relax, turn around and take my hand."
Tool, Stinkfist
...another fell @ 2/09/2004 01:24:00 AM
223785
I apologize for my cyber absence. Cole and I took a week off and came up to the lesser white north to spend time with our parents and forget about our crappy jobs for a while. Needless to say, I only wanted to make one pass at blogging on a 26.4k dialup connection, so here it is.
As one might expect on a relaxing trip, not much has occurred over the past few days. It's been nice to just see our parents again and reminisce a bit. I haven't slept well the past few nights, however, since Cole is a half hour away with his family. Aside from a couple of phone calls today and a few passed-on messages after some IRC tag, we haven't seen or heard from each other for a couple of days. I miss him more than anything.
A metric assload of snow blanketed the north while we were here. I'm ready to move to San Francisco. I got my tax refunds back, how 'bout it? ;p
Right now I'm wondering if Alexander has survived his week without food. He was looking a little sickly the night before we left, but he ate plenty of bloodworms the next morning. Hopefully we just come home to a hungry betta, and not a dead one.
On the efront, I've recruited 2 more members to RIVALED who haven't been added yet. I've also been spending massive amounts of time online on the dialup, either updating Mom's computer or wondering where the hell Kyubi went. He was up when we left, but departed for the nether lands sometime on Tuesday. I dearly hope that there was a power surge/outage and that our apartment wasn't robbed or burned, or someone will pay dearly.
Speaking of the shitty dialup, I just waited for an hour and a half for Ralph to send me Schism over IRC, since I wouldn't be satisfied until I'd heard it. That's the main reason why it's the song of the day. XD
I've been exposed to several messages lately that are making me stop and take a second look at myself. It all started shortly before we left on this little vacation, when I read the exploits of a so-called time traveller on some message board. True or no, the message he wished to get across was the virtue of living a simple, meaningful life. There were a few more small things in song and media that made me stop and think about people, life, and the purpose of it all. Then, we come here, where life seems simpler. Together, these things made me reevaluate what I want. It really is very simple. I want to be with Cole until the ends of forever. I want a meager home. I want to be able to be with family and friends. I (gasp!) think I want a child or two. I want everyone I care about to know how much they mean to me. I want to work hard and feel satisfied by the results. I want to learn something. I want to share something. I want to visit a new place. I want to laugh and cry and love.
I want to live joy.
To continue this mindset, I saw the movie 25th Hour this evening. Though some parts lacked content, each end of the movie was thought-provoking and powerful. It seemed as though Spike Lee stopped halfway through the script, read some Whitman and Hughes, and came back, refreshed, to write some of his own poetry. The closing monologue moved me to tears. The score was haunting and the acting impeccable. We may have to pick this one up.
The point of this little review: some of that damage that retail has done has been undone. I rediscovered some of my old optimism. The world may still have a dark core, but at least it's still covered in good earth in some spots. I think, for a short while at least, I'll give a few more people the benefit of the doubt.
Or maybe I've just come full circle.
If you turn around, you will see the future.
::
"The poetry that comes from the squaring off between
And the circling is worth it, finding beauty in the dissonance"
Tool, Schism
...another fell @ 2/07/2004 01:29:00 AM
Shoes?
We went to Watertown today for traffic court, where I managed to reduce my ticket to $38 from $75. With the money we saved, we decided to pick up some new shoes for Cole. We proceded to the Outlet mall, which was unexplicably closed. So, we went to the Janesville mall, where we bought Cole a sword instead. It was well spent. He's been swinging it around ever since we got home, and I can tell he loves it.
That's better than shoes anyday.
::
"Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list"
Shinedown, .45
...another fell @ 1/28/2004 11:12:00 PM
Snippets
I've been surprised to find that my visitor list is so large. For those of you who arrived at my little hole, looking for "Steward of Gondor," I apologize for only having a small snippet. Perhaps this will help.
Once again, we're sitting at home on a Sunday afternoon, watching comedians, trying to avoid doing laundry. It's cold, and we don't want to leave.
Last night I went to Wendi's housewarming party, and got to see what a quarter of a million will purchase these days. Though her house was beautiful, It made me realize that I will never need that much space if we continue to live without children. The visit has given me a bad case of apartment-hunting fever, and also a mad desire to decorate again.
A disturbing thought from the other day: How many people try on pants at a store while going commando? Admit it, you're one of them, aren't you? O_o;;
And on that note, we cue the music.
::
"All of this and more of nothing in my life"
Alice In Chains, Got Me Wrong
...another fell @ 1/25/2004 05:12:00 PM
Who?
Who is the spy? Is it me? Is it you? Here, drink this wine...
Find out what YOUR inner non-sequitur is!
quiz by A.V. Phibes
::
"Dial 999 if you really want the truth"
Rancid, Maxwell Murder
...another fell @ 1/17/2004 11:11:00 AM
Edits
I've done a bit of Gaia cosplay.
Mai, from Kanon
ANBU, from Naruto
After an ice storm coated the city, I'm thankful I don't have to be anywhere tomorrow. Also, I don't know how much sleep I'm going to end up with. It's after 3 and I'm still not very tired. I slept from 6:30 - 9:30, then couldn't get back to sleep, so I made the ANBU av edit. But, Gaia's being bitchy and won't let me post anything.
I guess I'll try going back to bed.
::
"And with the early dawn
Moving right along
I couldn't buy an eyeful of sleep"
Audioslave, Show Me How to Live
...another fell @ 1/17/2004 03:17:00 AM
Cinematic Orgy
We just blew our collective wad at Best Buy on 14 DVD titles.
The Crow
Pi
Requiem for a Dream
The Ninth Gate
The Prophecy
Catch Me if You Can
Sleepy Hollow
Go
The Big Lebowski
Memento
Primal Fear
Wayne's World
Wayne's World 2
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
The titles I was hoping for, but couldn't find:
Better off Dead
Mystery Science 3000 the movie
The sacrifices:
Space Ghost: Coast to Coast vol. 1
It was just a little too expensive.
Evangelion Perfect Collection
Trigun Perfect Collection
Hellsing Perfect Collection
We had priorities!
Now that they're all unwrapped, we're sitting down to some Harry Potter before bed. I love this movie! ^^
::
"I watched a change in you
It's like you never had wings"
Deftones, Change (in the House of Flies)
...another fell @ 1/14/2004 10:49:00 PM
Tomorrow
Despite having to return to our apparently sub-standard store for work tomorrow, I am pumped. I am going to the DMV at 8 or 9, forking over a bunch of money, and making it possible for me to drive my car again. No more long bus rides. No more standing in the cold, no more getting up 2 hours early for work. I can sleep in and listen to music on the way. I never realised how important mobility was to me until it was gone. At the first opportunity, we're taking off for Madison.
I don't know how far along this project is, but rumours are flying about the live-action Evangelion movie apparently in production by ADV, Gainax, and WETA Workshop. The newest issue of Anime Insider listed the casting prospects as follows:
Shinji: Daniel Radcliffe - Good actor, but he is so not Shinji.
Asuka: Hilary Duff - WTF?! Are you fucking kidding me?!?
Rei: Chiaki Kuriyama - Hell yes. She did so well as Go Go, and I could see that same bizarre energy fueling a perfect performance as Rei. The only one they hit right on the head.
Kaworu: Haley Joel Osment - Needs to be slightly older. Also, Haley Joel doesn't have that yaoi mystique that is required to fuel Kaworu's character.
Touji: Shawn Ashmore - This is alright. Doesn't seem bullyish enough, but I think he'd work fine.
Misato: Natalie Imbruglia - Absolutely not. Too cutesy. Why not Kiera Knightley or Kate Beckinsdale? Someone with some strength.
Ritsuko: Gwyneth Paltrow - No. Too wishy-washy and girly. Ritsuko needs to be someone more forceful. I could see a blonde Geena Davis do a much better Ritsuko.
Kaji: Colin Farrell - Decent. Kinda looks like Kaji, but I could see a couple other actors here as well.
Fuyutsuki: Ian McKellan - Not bad. I would have rather seen Peter Cushing, but alas...
Gendo: Hugo Weaving - Mister Ikari... I am going to have such a problem with this pick, even though he'd do a decent job acting the part.
I joined Gaia Online today. I bought a trading pass and applied for two guilds: The Spelling and Grammar Whores Guild and the Bish Guild. It's a fun little take on forum life.
Apparently going to Let'sSingIt has flooded my comp with spyware. So whatever you do, stay away from that site for a while. Time to go run Ad Aware. :(
That's about all for this installment of my life.
::
"I want to be where the sun warms the sky"
Madonna, La Isla Bonita
...another fell @ 1/11/2004 11:03:00 PM
Done. Done. Done.
Well, FFX is beaten again, primarily with my Kimahri-led mage party. Lots of Ultima, little problem.
Cole wants a new FFVIII game, while I'm now ready to take on X-2. Not tonight, though.
Happy Birthday, hon. I hope it was better this year.
Now for a quiet night of reading email and the center.
::
"sono kao
sotto furete
asa ni tokeru
yumemiru"
Rikki, Suteki da Ne
...another fell @ 1/08/2004 09:34:00 PM
Draw! Draw, draw, draw, draw, draw! What, are you autistic? Draw!
Do it now! The new Sharingan Oekaki is now up. Unless it gets super-crazy with hits, I'm going to be very lenient on time limits, completion of drawings, etc. It's more for fun, and so I have an excuse to use my wacom more often.
Today's unrelated poll: if you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself?
::
"I'll bring home the turkey if you bring home the bacon"
Weezer, El Scorcho
...another fell @ 1/06/2004 01:25:00 AM
Opportunity Knocked, but I Was Asleep
I don't know how or why they chose me from the millions of people out there, but they did. All I have to do is email this guy my name, bank account and routing numbers, and bank phone number, and they will give me over 5 million dollars.
This is my lucky day!
::
"How you get a rude and a reckless?"
The Clash, Rudie Can't Fail
...another fell @ 1/05/2004 08:45:00 AM
A Series of Endings and Beginnings Follow:
FFX is coming to a close once again. Once I fight Sin and capture inside Sin, I can head straight for the endgame. This time around I vowed to do it without owning a single celestial weapon. I'm also going to try without Break Damage Limit. Kimahri could certainly take advantage of it, but I'll try to tough it out without.
I have a few more new prospects for fanlistings/cliques. As soon as they pan out, I'll have a couple new sites to work on. I might even round out Sharingan by making a new portfolio and *gasp* maybe doing some new work.
I'm polishing off the last of the eggnog as I wait for my soup to finish cooking.
It started snowing about an hour ago. I wish winter was over with.
I want to start a new project, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to start on yet another fanlisting. Maybe I'll get some new board attire now that I'm nearly done with FFX.
Cole is almost done making Kyubi speak Al Bhed. XD
I had a dream about creating an RPG. I remember designing Odin as a boss, and he appeared with ravens that he would sacrifice as his HP got low, in order to heal himself. When I started making the RPG, though, it turned out all cute and cartoony, and one of the first items to be found was a pair of bunny slippers. ?_?;
This is the end of my post at the beginning of the week.
::
"Let's start over
Let's start over"
Boxcar Racer, I Feel So...
...another fell @ 1/04/2004 01:50:00 PM
The Results Are In
X-mas 2003 netted me:
Samurai 3000 katana (w00t!)
Wacom Graphire3 tablet (double w00t!)
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone DVD
Nightmare Before Christmas DVD
Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
Bath and Body Works in Cotton Blossom ^^
Green Tea lotion and perfume
Lip Smackers lip balm
$10 mall Gift Certificate
Italian charm bracelet
Santa door decoration
Christmas wall hanging
Air Bake cookie sheet
Cookie Cutters
Cookies
Chocolate
$75 traffic ticket <_<;
That last one I'll let go for now. I've been enjoying the book quite a lot, mainly because the protagonist reminds me a lot, at least mentally, of myself. Though his life, however dull he claims it to be, is far more interesting than mine, our fathers are startlingly similar.
I've likened the past few days of work to beating my face in with bricks, though the latter would probably be more rewarding and profitable. All around, we regaled our hopless sense of triviality with tales of customers offended at the mess we should have contained. This is the only time of year that we bare our claws to our patrons, in the feeble hope that they will finally honor their threat to never return.
In the way of the web, I was declined the Gullwings listing, so I may turn that into a clique venture, since I like the layout so much. I also signed up for the Olaf Oleeson listing, dedicated to Silent Bob's Russian cousin, which I will probably emblazon with the title "Fuck Your Yankee Blue Jeans." I tossed around ideas for either a disgruntled service worker forum or an anti-social commentary site dedicated to all the types of people who ruin society entitled "Kill 'em All."
Telperion appears to have had an anyeurism, so I'll go see what the error message is all about. Until next time, I'll leave with a few parting shots.
1ne: I want a tattoo that contains the alchemical symbol for fire, which is just an empty triangle. Perhaps I can work it in with a phoenix in some way. Or I want one of the Oroborous. I'm sure I'll change my mind again in a month or so.
Tw2: We haven't had significant snow nor any Wisconsin™ cold yet and I already wish it was spring.
Thr3e: I'm a fire mage! (I am also Jack's total lack of surprise).
find your element
at mutedfaith.com.
::
"Your image in the dictionary
This life is more than ordinary"
Red Hot Chili Peppers, Can't Stop
...another fell @ 12/30/2003 06:50:00 PM
Tids and Bits to Follow:
I got two more new members over at the Konohamaru fanlisting. ^^
The layout is ready for the Gullwings listing, and I'm pretty pleased with the way it turned out. Besides waiting for approval, I just need to decide on the bonus content. I already know I'm going to have wallpapers, but if anyone has any suggestions/submissions, it would be fantastic.
Tomorrow is Christmas with my family over at my brother's place.
I'm a bit sleepy, so nothing else good is coming to mind.
Keep it here for the results of x-mas haul 2003.
::
"When you’re on a holiday
You can’t find the words to say
All the things that come to you"
Weezer, Island in the Sun
...another fell @ 12/21/2003 03:04:00 AM
A Lesson in Free Will
God really didn't want us to see LotR:RotK today.
About a week or so ago, we purchased our tickets for the 4:15 showing on the Ultra Screen.
Last night, on the way home from work, my car battery held out long enough for us to get home, then gave up completely this morning. Fine. We hopped on the bus uptown at 12:15, borrowed Brie's car, and got a new battery. Since the new battery still caused the amp light to stay on, we decided we should have the alternator tested. It was bad as well. A new one would be $190, but if we managed to pull out the old one, we'd get it for $120. So there we were in the parking lot of Auto Zone, yanking it out. Luckily for us, a very cool employee helped us cram the new one in, and after much struggle we were on our way to Madison. It was 3:15. 1 hour to complete a 45-minute drive and find seats in a crowded theater.
We just turned onto the beltline when the traffic report came on the radio. West beltline backed up because of a major accident in the Eastbound lane. It was 3:40. By 3:50, we were stuck in stop-and-go traffic. By 4:07 we managed to make it off the beltline and onto Gammon Rd, about 4 blocks from the theater. We made it there by 4:12 or so, and got into the theater halfway through the last preview. Granted, we were stuck with front-row stiff-neck seats, but against all odds, we made it. We saw Return of the King, and it was good.
::
"Through shadow
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight"
Billy Boyd, The Steward of Gondor
...another fell @ 12/17/2003 11:35:00 PM
Wootness
Qua finally got her tattoo. I don't even remember when I drew it, but it was at least 3 years ago. Yay! :D
"Now in some strange demented way, a part of me will be a part of your ass forever!"
::
"She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable."
Fuel, Shimmer
...another fell @ 12/16/2003 08:36:00 PM
Fits of apathy, mostly
Ralph came back to the center, and all hell is breaking loose. There are actually factions now: the s&t's led by Peeve, Xylus and Gambit, and the Old Centerians, which mostly consists of ralph being an ass.
Fortunately, there has also been a bout of activity again, which is good.
I'm trying to get my paws on the Gullwings fanlisting, as well as the official art for FFX-2 international that features our three heroines standing in front of a giant wing statue. Thus far, I have been unsuccessful.
Other than a couple early work mornings this week, not much will be new until Wednesday.
::
"Single file to cover your tracks"
Sparta, Red Alibi
...another fell @ 12/16/2003 12:06:00 AM
X3
Congratulations! You're Merry!
Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
The stark contrast of "Merry" and "insatiable bloodlust" just makes me laugh.
::
"The boy's a time bomb"
Rancid Time Bomb
...another fell @ 12/13/2003 02:38:00 PM
Dark have been my dreams of late...
I woke up to the fading images of a strange dream. The only part I can really remember is that I was watching a tv movie with people that I think were supposed to be my dad and brother. In the movie, a guy killed his wife after he had become irrational (similar to the movie Frailty). At that point in the movie, I then realised that everything that happened in the movie was happening in my life. I looked at my dad in shock and horror, and that's when I woke up. Oh yeah, I also remember that I was building a big model thingy for some contest for MTV, I think. It was a building (a hotel, I think) with a big triangular balcony where there were models of a couple people (one of them being Michael Stipe; I think Michael Hutchence was either in the model or helping me build it <_<;;). There was also a model of someone parachuting down from the top of the building, and his parachute was yellow with something written on it. In fact, the model was required to have these yellow cards somewhere in it, and I was putting extra effort into using the parachute as a place to display one of them. I only remember all this because I was attatching strings to the parachute when I came to the earlier realisation.
It can only mean one thing: I shouldn't eat Taco Bell anymore.
::
"You need to tighten that screw
It's been loose for a long time"
Limp Bizkit, Stuck
...another fell @ 12/13/2003 01:54:00 PM
:shudder:
A night of wind-whipped snow and icy roads really brings out the freak contingent. Not only were customers weird, they were also crabby and needy. At least they were few. It was immesurably better than having a normal, precipitationless busy night. I *gasp* actually got WORK done.
I contemplated human nature a bit, and decided it all comes back to accountability. People will go against things they believe in, all to avoid accountability for their actions. No one wants to blame anyone; no one will accept it either. It's someone else's fault, or no one's. It's the media, it's video games, it's a bad upbringing.
No. It's you. It's me. It's time to own up, pay up, and shut up.
One other thing, a thought I thought the other day:
"Knowledge is the great corruptor of souls."
And I'm really not as angry as I sound... <_<;;
::
"It's a crazy, crazy mixed up town"
Live, Rattlesnake
...another fell @ 12/10/2003 11:32:00 PM
Remains of the day
After nearly eight hours of brain-numbing holiday cashiering, I look forward to tomorrow off. It'll be that day that I claim as my starting off point for the year ahead; the milestone by which I measure how far I've come. It always feels farther than I fear to tread, yet I recall the scenery along the way, and not many things have come to pass. But I have Cole at my side, walking with me, and it really doesn't matter how far I go, or how many new things I see, because the voyage is never boring. Occasionally I get a little sad that I haven't cured cancer or done some momentous thing by now, but then I realize that other than wanting a little notoriety, I don't want a life full of complexity. Just simplicity and love.
Okay, reflection aside.
All my X-2 watching of late has encouraged me to start a new game of FFX. I named our hero Shuyin, which made Cole laugh, since "in six short keystrokes, I rendered X-2 completely pointless." XD
Naruto 196 still isn't out. Bah, I've got a game to tend to.
Until next time...
::
"Things have never been so swell
I have never felt this well"
Nirvana, You Know You're Right
...another fell @ 12/06/2003 09:34:00 PM
DDoS
Why is it whenever I accidentally close my browser, and Blogger asks if I want to save my nearly-finished long-ass rant of a post, it *never* saves it anywhere? A short recreation of this pointless drivel follows:
Some dumb script kiddie fuxxored the center, but luckily I was too busy to notice. 80% of my free time has been devoted to watching Cole play through FFX-2, which is proving to be a great game. I miss a few trappings of X: the music, the summoning, upgrading weapons, the cloister of trials, and Auron. Other than that, this game is quite fun, with lots of sidequests and minigames. Though the battle system is a bit frenetic, but the garment grid/dressphere combo has shown to be quite ingenious. The story is developing nicely, and is bringing up an important point: even peace has its turmoil.
Speaking of turmoil: I've finally finished FLCL, which is absolutely brilliant. It's beautiful and artful and insane, like a fragile mind teetotalling on the brink of self-annihilation. It gets bonus points for the Evangelion undertones and smirking anime references, not to mention its stunning rock music backdrop by my new favorite Japanese band, The Pillows. It reminds me of Fight Club in a way, mostly for its innovation and unabashed truth-telling. I want more, but I'm not sure if I could take it. I'll have to get my grubby hands on the manga!
{RIVALED} update: There's nothing to update. TFL.org is down due to server problems, so no one has been able to add me to the official list. Therefore no one has joined mine. *sigh*
I'm out of things to do and say. I needed to post after a 13 day break, and prolly won't have anything else until after Thanksgiving, when we whisk ourselves into the great white north for some mastication and relaxation. Until then...
::
"Something tells me I'll never be the same... now it's all changed."
Comsat Angels, I'm Falling
...another fell @ 11/22/2003 12:07:00 AM
What I learned from listening to Radiohead
We picked up our tickets for Matrix Revolutions like good little geeks this evening. I just wanted to be sure of a time, instead of waiting in line and then having to wait some more as the show sells out. I have some high expectations for this one. Then, Reloaded taught me that high expectations can often lead to disappointment. As for our next movie outing, I think we'll go see Kill Bill again.
I saw some fantastic Naruto cosplay out there, it's all making me want a Konoha headband again. The best of show were an impeccable Hayate and a stylish Sasuke, both done by females. I have yet to see an acceptable Kakashi, but then, maybe my expectations are too high.
No takers on {RIVALED} yet, but then again, I'm not listed yet.
Fullmetal Alchemist 5 is sitting patiently on my desktop. Time to watch.
Aside from the domestic disturbance in the lobby of our building, tonight was a good night.
As for today's title: go forth and (re)discover the magic of today's closing song. Even the most faithless cannot deny the intrinsic power and simple beauty of these closing strains.
::
"Immerse your soul in love."
Radiohead, Fade Out (Street Spirit)
...another fell @ 11/05/2003 01:31:00 AM
Konohamaru
I may be getting to bed late, but I've completed my Konohamaru fanlisting. Time to add another code. ^^
If you're a fan of the short-bus ninja, why don't you join?
http://sharingan.ffosg.com/konoha/
::
"Sora wa hate shinaku aoku sunde ite"
Rhythem, Harumonia
...another fell @ 11/02/2003 12:40:00 AM
Devil's Night
All the Halloween spirit has long passed out of mind, being replaced by Christmas spirit. That is, until today. I had a deep desire to skip out of work, blast out of town, and hit some quiet beach. Sounds strange right on the cusp of November, but it was (and still is) a balmy 70, with sweet smelling leaf-laced air that nearly recalls the warm nights of a few months prior. I still wish we had plans and costumes for tomorrow; at one time I was hoping to dress up as ANBU, complete with masks and katanas. Alas, there's nothing to do around here tomorrow that doesn't involve the bar scene or the insanity of the Mad City, and driving up to my brother's just to stumble home drunk is out of the question, since work starts early on Saturday. I guess we run errands and hang out at the mall. Maybe we'll set something on fire. Okay, maybe not. =_=;
Speaking of all that is Halloween, a spider just descended from the ceiling and must come in contact with the blunt end of my shoe.
I must make my leave, Shukaku has been restless today, and has apparently placed his offspring in my head.
Oh, and if anyone has the Pennsylvania Avenue or Mediterranean Avenue Monopoly game pieces, please send them to me with all speed.
"We must go and ninja in the night!"
Sifl and Olly, Ninja of the Night
...another fell @ 10/30/2003 07:02:00 PM
Chii
Not much activity today, despite being my day off. All our overspending last week is taking its toll, so we have to be conservative this week. I do have to go put a new tire on my car later, tho.
We rented "Down With Love" last night. It was bloody fucking brilliant! Discard what you think this movie will be, because it will surprise and delight you. So cheesy and hilarious.
I've a strong desire to go on a downloading spree today. On the list:
- Revolutionary Girl Utena
- Excel Saga
- Chobits
- I! My! Me!
- FLCL
- Rahxephon
- Gasaraki
I'm also in a mood to pick up ff6 or ff7 again today. I'll prolly do neither. What I should be doing instead: Dishes or screencapping. +____+;
::
"Dreams are made winding through her hair"
System of a Down, Spiders
...another fell @ 10/22/2003 02:35:00 PM
Shukaku!
I have a rabid badger living in my abdomen. Every now and then he either decides he's hungry and that my innards would make a nice snack, or that he just plain doesn't like his surroundings, and wants out. Either way, it occasionally feels as though something is ripping me apart from the inside. Usually lasts a day or two and then subsides. I suppose it's better than the perma-illness of 3 summers ago. I had it checked out once by some incompetent semi-doctor, who did not know the cause, and merely suggested OTC painkillers. Meh, I guess I can handle a couple days of excruciating pain a few days a year.
I'm all giggles when it comes to the entertainment area. There's great movies coming out for the holiday, and I'm steeped in great anime. Naruto remains my main passion, but I've also been introduced to Fullmetal Alchemist, a story about two alchemist brothers whose big experiment left the younger trapped in a suit of armor, and the elder (and shorter) with metal appendages. The first two episodes launched directly into an engaging storyline, and show a lot of promise for the series; I'm downloading the third episode now.
I'm also chomping at the bit for Christmas to come around. My mom informed me that I'll be getting the Wacom Tablet I longed for, albeit a smaller version. Any is fine with me, I've had a lot of fanart that's been dying to get out (including a cute chibi Gaara sketch and an original Naruto Sound-nin). My trackball, besides it's occasional bunge-ups and its tendency to double-click at will, just plain sucks for doing free hand Photoshopping.
A lot has happened at the Center since I last posted here. Cole's been made an Admin. ^^ He's gaining the trust of those who once feared his anger. He deserves this; he worked his ass off for the good of the Center, and I think he'll continue to do the same.
Badger update: the drugs are wearing off, and he's awake again. Time to do battle!
::
"Why can't you see that you are my child?
Why don't you know that you are my mind?
Tell everyone in the world that I'm you.
Take this promise to the end of you."
System of a Down, Forest
...another fell @ 10/20/2003 11:13:00 PM
Meh
We're in the middle of a fall heat wave. It was fun the first day, but now it's getting old.
I seriously need to clean the apartment.
I have to work today.
I suck at life.
Just shoot me now.
::
...another fell @ 10/11/2003 11:56:00 AM
Mwahahahahahaha!!!
What Type of Villain are You?
You are the...Evil Genius
You're too smart for your own good sometimes..And you can be quite stubborn, because you believe you're always right. You don't need other people to boost your self-confidence, but people are usually glad to boost your ego.
...Because you've proven to them there are worse things than death...
Other Evil Geniuses
- Professor Moriarity (Sherlock Holmes)
- Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)
- Elijah (Unbreakable)
What Type of Villain are You?
mutedfaith.com.
::
"Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste"
Rolling Stones, Sympathy for the Devil
...another fell @ 10/05/2003 01:56:00 AM
Bliss
Today is one of those perfect days. We slept in. We woke to find it cool, cloudless and lovely. We got lunch, saw "Out of Time," and ate ice cream. We came home to relax. If only we had a beach nearby; I'm dying to go for a sunset walk along a cool beach before summer loses its grip.
Well, I've finally implemented a comment system, courtesy of HaloScan. So if there's anyone out there reading, give me a nod.
I've also been thrust head-first into an apparent Matrix internet treasure-hunt. I've always thought intensive online interactive marketing that also carries the power of myth is the most brilliant thing ever. Whoever thought it up, I would like to salute you.
Anyways, to involve yourself in this vast scheme, point your favorite search engine at MetaCortex or Underscore hosting.
::
"The sun is up, I'm so happy I could scream"
The Cure, Mint Car
...another fell @ 10/04/2003 05:39:00 PM
Say hello to mah little friend
Laurelin and Telperion both underwent reformats. Cole was able to get XP back on his box, but I stuck with 2k. His is going smoothly at the moment, but mine was not so effortless. Try as I might, I could not get the 80 gig to reformat, fdisk kept telling me that it was broken ;; After a slight panic, I removed the big drive and set up my 27. Hooked the 80 back up today, just out of curiosity, and found that windows was able to format it easily, and now it's not only clean, but functional and partitionless. So I am now the keeper of the anime, and of Kyubi.
Why did I tell you all this? Because the center's down, Cole's comp is in the middle of several critical updates, and I can't decide on a movie. ;D
Oh, did I mention? Living in this building is like watching Jerry Springer. w00t for common trash, rednecks, and domestic disturbances. :|
::
"Link, I think your name shall go down into history!"
System of a Down, Legend of Zelda
...another fell @ 10/03/2003 08:21:00 PM
Gone rogue
[cracked out post]
The streaks are back in my hair. ^^ Maybe I'll post a piccy of it soon. They turned out a little lighter than last time, but they should tone down in the next few days. I set the timer for 45 minutes, but when I checked after about 30, my hair looked almost white. That could have been dangerous. I used new stuff that smelled like it had chlorine bleach in it, which explains why it worked so well. I'll keep it in mind if I ever decide to go silver.
And then there's this:
That's all. [/cracked out post]
::
"Everybody knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell"
The White Stripes, Seven Nation Army
...another fell @ 9/27/2003 12:49:00 AM
w00tness
Current temperature in Janesville, WI: 46 °F
My day wasn't bad at all, but when I stepped outside in my wool coat into the brisk air, the night got 153% better. Recall: I said I had the holiday itch? Now it is a full-on fever.
I'm also thinking of putting the streaks back in my hair. It looks good with the winter outfits. I'll have to scope out highlighting kits.
Square announced KH2 and a FFVII movie. I'm full of unspeakable giddiness at both prospects, however far off they may be.
And the ANBU|Aone Naruto sub is due out tonight. I've seen the raw ep already, as we've started watching those since we know what's going on anyways, but it's just another good thing for a good night.
Life is beautiful.
::
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12..."
Little Blue Crunchy Things, Numbers
...another fell @ 9/25/2003 10:58:00 PM
New
I would just like to take this opportunity to say a short something first. I love Cole. I can't imagine life without his smile, his warm eyes, his safe embrace. I have found something truly special in him, and I will never let it go. Now that we're more secure, though I may not always show it, in these last few months I have been truly happy. Ain't life grand? ^^
With the onset of fall, a lot has been occuring in my little corner of the world. Rolf's in the process of changing Chuushin over to the new server. Basically, I'll be spending every free moment doing screen caps in order to keep up with customer demand. He's putting a torrent bot in ANBUdom that will advertise for the site. In other words, it's going to explode.
The only vaguely official source I've found so far says that "the series, focusing on a ninja academy, is anticipating a US license in the near future." When will they announce this? My money's on Otakon this October. We'll see what kind of future Chuushin has after we hear who nabs the license. *Prays it won't be FUNi*
Rumors are flying about what changes will occur at work, too. Wendi tossed my name out first for a possible Merchandising supervisor position, which means more money, and a bigger challenge. It also means less customer service and more decision-making.
I'm getting the desire to go back to school. It's slight, mind you, but it's there. We shall see what the future holds.
To steal a line from Martha Stewart: "All good things."
To steal another from Jeff Smith: "I bid you peace."
::
"I never saw the sun shining so bright
Never saw things going so right."
Ella Fitzgerald, Blue Skies
...another fell @ 9/19/2003 12:06:00 PM
Sanguine
I'm right in the middle of four glorious days off. The best part is that I got paid for the first one. The apartment needs cleaning, but putting it off in favor of total relaxation just seems like a better option. I'm nearly over my cold; I don't want to do anything that may bring it back. XD
I'm starting to get the holiday itch. The stores are just rolling out the Halloween decorations, and I really want to put up some fall stuff, maybe get a few yummy pumpkin spice candles to make the place festive. It also means I've been thinking about the holidays ahead. I've decided that I want a Wacom tablet for Christmas. Some great fanart has been floating around my head for a little while now, and I'm just not as proficient with paper as I am with digital media. It must be my disdain for pencils.
I love the holidays.
::
"All the leaves on the trees are fallin'
To the sound of the breezes that blow."
Van Morrison, Moondance
...another fell @ 9/13/2003 08:19:00 PM
Pure Rock Fury
A bit of news in the past couple weeks:
1: Our trip was awesome. We saw the most beautiful scenery, and visited some great places.
2:Naruto Chuushin has finally been unveiled, along with the stores NarutoCenter and CenterCenter.
3: There is no third thing.
4: Wendi informed me that I got a raise. $9/hr now, as soon as it gets put into the system.
6: I've read all available manga and watched all available episodes of Naruto. Let the waiting begin.
5: I was made a mod at dbzcenter forums.
6: I joined a few new fanlistings.
7: I am planning to make a few fanlistings of my own.
That's all for now, back to work.
::
"I seen you dance in the arena all in make-up dressed up like a ballerina
I got to wonder what's got into you? Or just what you got into"
Clutch, Pure Rock Fury
...another fell @ 9/06/2003 05:11:00 PM
That's why they call me the "short-bus ninja"...
So, i'm retarded. It turns out that dad's birthday present got delivered to Decor, where mom works, just as UPS always does when a package for my mom shows up on the truck. The delivery guy knows she'll be there, so that's where he leaves it. One of the benefits of living in a very small town. Happily, dad got his Orange County Choppers shirt today instead of tomorrow.
Should go to bed now since i have to get up at 3, but now i'm not tired...
::
"I wanna rocks!"
Hound Dog, ROCKS
...another fell @ 8/20/2003 09:14:00 PM
><!
After 2 detours that extended our voyage north by over an hour, we arrived back home at about 2:45 am. I hadn't seen my parents in over 5 months, and since then my mom lost 62 pounds, cut her hair, and dyed it blonde. To my weary eyes she looked like a total stranger. I couldn't help crying, she didn't look like my mom. I feel horrible that I couldn't keep this emotion from her because she interpreted that to mean she looked bad, and after all her efforts, I didn't want her to have that impression. Once she got dressed, curled her hair in its usual updo, and put on her glasses, she was lovely. She looked younger with light hair and I could tell that her weight loss had given her new energy. I was glad for that, but I still feel that I've hurt her with my initial reaction. I hope she knows that all her efforts have paid off, and she really does look great.
Today is my dad's birthday, and his gift was scheduled to arrive today. It did, in Marinette, to someone by the name of J. Taylor. I could understand delivery to someone in the same town, but 30 miles off target is a pretty serious offense. Mr. Delivery Man should lay off the pot, methinks. Hopefully J. Taylor's address will be inserted in the UPS system soon, so a driver can go out and retrieve the package, and I can possibly give my father his present before I leave tomorrow for Sault Ste. Marie.
Hopefully when we go home, we'll have 2 shiny new episodes of Naruto to watch. Probably not. Also, I took some pictures of Hwy C in the 5am mist. If they turn out, I'll post them later.
::
"Mother looking at me
Tell me what do you see?
Yes, I've lost my mind"
t.A.t.U., All The Things She Said
...another fell @ 8/20/2003 02:07:00 PM
Pink?!
Welcome to my new layout based on Sakura, the over-emotional genin heroine of Naruto. Despite my current Kakashi obsession (sharingan.ffosg.com is on its way), I can relate to Sakura since I am also a book-smart elitist social retard. Anyways, in episode 32, Sakura finally became worthy of team 7, and also became one of my favorite characters. Speaking of Naruto, where is episode 45? My inner Sakura is growing impatient.
Specs, for interested parties:
program: PS 7.0
picture: scan from Jump
display font: Aquiline
text font: Verdana
::
"Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
Cause you will hate yourself in the end"
Akeboshi, Wind
...another fell @ 8/18/2003 12:57:00 AM
Torrents @ AnimeSuki.com
I've finally found a source to reacquire the Kanon eps I lost when I had to reformat. Now if I could only get back all my high-quality Trigun eps -.-;
I have to work today. That is all.
::
"Let's get away
Just for one day"
Depeche Mode, Stripped
...another fell @ 8/10/2003 11:06:00 AM
Neuroses
Today Paul is coming to our store to make sure we haven't fucked anything up, so that when he brings along all the corporates on Tuesday, he won't be blamed. Paul's the district manager, and is also apparently bipolar. Half the time he brags about our little store, and how we've kept it reigned in even though it seems to be a source of concentrated chaos. The other half, he tells us we're out of luck. So that's where I'm headed in another 15 minutes. I only hope Wendi and I get to spend the day ridding the backroom of extra fixtures and carting them down to Rockford. All day. Please?
::
"Every time I try so hard I get nothing, nothing."
Reel Big Fish, Nothing
...another fell @ 8/08/2003 07:34:00 AM
Clicky, clicky
I've been debating what new web adventures to undertake. After the DBZ Center member cards are all done, I still want to resume play on FF6, perhaps rejoin Swift Action forums, and watch all 43 eps of Naruto. But I've had a mad desire to create something new. I haven't drawn in ages; it feels too foreign to me now. I want to create something of a community, something that has a purpose, and a place people actually visit. I was thinking of proposing a Center Blog Collective, a portal to blogs of Centerians who wish to participate, and they would each put a link to the portal in their sigs. I thought it would be a fun way to keep up on the lives of fellow Centerians and create a little community within a community. I've also been dredging up my old ideas, and I think I'd like to turn alpha betta into one of those cute little site cliques where members place a sprite link on their page. I'd offer sprites of different colored bettas, and owners can choose the one that matches their pet. Speaking of which, I need to feed Alexander before I go to bed, which is right about now. Goodnight, gentle reader.
::
"Nani ge nai kono omoi
nee, hito ha donna kotoba de yondeiru no"
Outlaw Star, Hiru no Tsuki
...another fell @ 8/07/2003 09:50:00 PM
Adventures in Gaming
ffosg.com has been put on the back-burner. There are just too many guides out there, and all of them have either done it better or more thoroughly than i could ever dream. It's a shame, cos i really want to do something Final Fantasy-related with the new layout i designed. *shrug* that will reveal itself in time, i suppose. Perhaps i could do a lore site, or a resource site (the place to look up items, weapons, etc.).
We found a new game store in Madison recently called RePlay. It helped us succeed in our quest to find a new SNES after Cole's old one finally crapped out. As we left, i had a hunch nagging at me, so we went back in and my feeling was correct: we found a copy of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night for only $19.99. XD
Today, we're not so sure what to do. Perhaps we'll go on a tour of the capitol building, or maybe we'll see a movie. We'll see what happens...
::
"A tank of gas is a treasure to me
I know now that nothing is free"
Blink-182, Carousel
...another fell @ 8/04/2003 11:33:00 AM
back?
::
"The sky resembles a backlit canopy with holes punched in it"
Incubus, Nice to Know You
...another fell @ 7/13/2003 02:31:00 PM
~ hiatus ~
::
"Edges dulled at the end of the day"
Sparta, Light Burns Clear
...another fell @ 2/12/2003 01:02:00 AM
Ice, ice, baby
So the drive from Janesville to Whitewater took about an hour tonight, due to the iciest roads i've ever driven on. i'm just glad i didn't wreck Cole's car somewhere on Prairie St.
i wish i could pinpoint this feeling that's tugging at my insides. i think i'm just sick of school. Already. The mere thought of having to sit here and do homework is just pissing me off.
So i should go do exactly that.
::
"The truth is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"
Taking Back Sunday, You're So Last Summer
...another fell @ 2/03/2003 10:44:00 PM
Bacon... a lot.
Ah, i haven't posted in 5 days. This is a trend I have to break, and to those of you who read (all one of you), i apologize. Now, on with the show.
The redesign for ff:evolution is coming along nicely. Barring any obstacles, i expect launch by mid-month, featuring all the existing content, and more to come online as we finish it. i'm very happy with what the design has become; it will be a nice addition to the web portfolio.
Crap, there's more i wanna say, but i really have to get to bed.
::
"hope you're all right, it's been rough for me
thinking all night about the places I've been"
Flaw, My Letter
...another fell @ 2/03/2003 12:23:00 AM
A sound life
It's nights like this one that remind me how much i love Cole (not that i could ever forget!). We did nothing productive, talked about nothing spectacular, but had more fun than two 12 year olds with a pocket full of tickets at a carnival. That's what we do, we have fun just being together. i think that says a lot for our relationship. Just being with him is relaxing and energizing all at the same time, and even when nothing else can make me smile, he can make me laugh. Coler, I love you.
In fact, it's really been a great day all around, present weather conditions and the flat tire on my car excluded. Old Navy customers did anything but shop at Old Navy this morning, Cole's car started, Marketing was a lot less in-your-face than it was the first time i tried to take it, and the people at financial aid weren't evil. Then i went to Cole's to spend half of the evening playing more Kingdom Hearts (even though i said i would finish ff8 first... at least i did get Bahamut! i swear i'll beat it before i beat KH, honest!), and the other half was spent in this perfect heaven with the man i adore.
More of my days should be spent like this.
Speaking of spent: Zzzzz... u.u
::
"So... hitotsu-me no yoru ni
izuko kara koishi ga sekai ni ochiru"
Trigun, Sound Life
...another fell @ 1/29/2003 01:29:00 AM
Things to keep in mind #1:
"suggestions from the experts" from my Advertising Copywriting and Layout text:
1. Remind yourself of your goal or dream every day. Constantly look for ways to bring your dream into your life. If you can't go to New York, visit the library and check out a book on paintings of New York.
2. Write in a journal every day. Writing keeps your ideas flowing. Don't think of it as creative writing; think of it as "brain dumping." The idea is to get two or three pages of your thoughts on paper daily.
3. Set aside time to be alone. For two hours each week, do something by yourself. That's when most creative ideas come to you. But do something you normally wouldn't do. Visit a museum, wander through the zoo, or go for a walk to exercise your senses.
4. Hang out with creative people, whether in your field or a totally different one.
5. For a week, turn off the TV, stop reading the mail, and don't listen to the radio. A week without all the extra noise is the equivalent of meditation.
Speaking of getting rid of extra noise: The M&J class: replaced by Intro to Marketing. The $40 course fee: refunded. My knuckles: purple, but not sore. The financial aid: tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow: i better finish this reading...
::
"Maybe we don't want to live in a world where innocence is so short"
Silverchair, Anthem For The Year 2000
...another fell @ 1/27/2003 12:00:00 AM
fucked again!
The angel of bad luck must be sitting on my shoulder again.
i thought i had things under control. 45 minutes before my Metals & Jewelry class was slated to begin, i went to the cashier's office to pay the $40 course fee. Plenty of time to take care of such a quick task, right? Wrong. There was a line extending around the corner of students waiting to get refund checks from the university. So i waited. And waited. And waited some more. 2:15, time for class. 2:20, still in line. 2:25: finally i pay my fee and dash off to the art office to exchange the reciept for a retrieval card, and when i get there, i wait again. The secretary, whom i have long deemed a direct descendant of Satan, sat at her desk chatting with two people who were lounging in the office, effectively ignoring me. Finally she looks up and asks impatiently "do you have a question?" No, of course not. i was waiting for a fucking retrieval card. "For what class?" she asks, annoyed at my request for her to do actual work. "Metals and Jewelry," i reply.
"That will be $50."
Late for class, out of money, and completely defeated. That was enough for me. i channeled my rage into the closest brick wall, and with bruised knuckles, walked back to Cole's place.
i'll take care of all this tomorrow.
Speaking of tomorrow: It's going to be cold.
::
"I feel the dream in me expire
and there's no one left to blame it on"
Seether, Fine Again
...another fell @ 1/23/2003 03:51:00 PM
curses
For some reason, the mixes of Cole's cars and the Old Navy parking lot are deadly. There was a span of months when the red beast of a Reliant remained there stonelike, leaking nearly all of its fluid contents onto the asphalt. i almost yearn for those days this evening. It was warm then. Tonight Cole's slate blue '83 Bonneville groaned and turned over briefly before falling into winter hibernation in that very same lot. This time it's not the car's fault. The Reliant not only pissed away all its necessary fluids, but it also had a short that drained the battery every time the driver even thought about operating anything electrical. No, the Bonneville just had its nose pointed directly into a -20 degree arctic wind blast. So tonight it sleeps, and now that Cole has retrieved me from a coworker's house in Milton, so shall i.
Speaking of sleep: Zzzz...
::
"Does any one know where the love of God goes
When the waves turn the minutes to hours?"
Gordon Lightfoot, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald
...another fell @ 1/23/2003 12:37:00 AM
multitasking
i made up my mind when i got ff7 for Christmas: i was going to finish my ff8 game before i started anything else. However, sitting at Cole's today while he was playing Galactic Battlegrounds, i realised i left my memory card in my dorm. Rather than not playing anything (inconceivable!) i finally started a game of Kingdom Hearts. i've been meaning to pick up this game forever; i was just a bit nervous seeing everyone else's difficulty in fighting Darkside for the first time. But my Sora started out strong; i chose the sword and rejected the staff (a move i may regret later). Enough of that now, though, i have bigger fish to fry yet in my ff8 game. i still can't get past that second ruby dragon in the deep sea research center... x.x;
speaking of x.x;: i should go to bed, i have class at 7:45. Yeah, am, not pm.
::
"let me ride"
Live, Lakini's Juice
...another fell @ 1/21/2003 10:55:00 PM
radeon 7500
Cole and i went to Waukesha yesterday to catch up with Qua, my long-limbed best friend from my Bradley years. i forgot just how much i missed her. Our personalities feed off one another, which is why we're the only ones from Willie's 5A that still talk to one another occasionally. She lives back in Waukesha with her parents again while she goes to grad school at Marquette, and she's met a really good guy (for a change) in the process. We went out to Buca's on the east side, which, if you're ever in the greater Milwaukee area and you like great italian, is a must-do. i think the best way to accurately describe it is "a whirlwind made from distilled italian vivacity." Afterward we headed to Paddy's Pub, a quaint medieval Irish establishment with an amazing atmosphere where i tasted my new favorite brew, Newcastle. It was a great night topped off with a little drinking, a little singing, and a lot of reminiscing.
Bright and early this morning we headed north to Appleton to pick up Cole's new '83 Bonneville. It seems this time we got a deal on a $500 car; there aren't any major mechanical problems as far as we can tell... *knocks softly on desk*
Speaking of mechanical problems: i installed the new radeon into Cole's semi-archaic comp, and apparently it hates to be plugged back in while the power is on standby. It just refuses to boot, or to power the monitor. i've never worked with such a touchy piece of hardware in my life...
Speaking of touchy hardware: preliminary plans are completed on our super secret computer project that integrates computer components and living room furniture. details at 11.
Speaking of 11: i've got an hour to work on my ff8 game before i should go to bed.
::
"i need fuel -- to take flight"
Fiona Apple, Sullen Girl
...another fell @ 1/18/2003 10:22:00 PM
a fresh night, a chained mind, and sore feet
The boys went out to coffee, and since my blistered feet did not care to be stuffed back into my shoes for the day, i optioned to stay at Kame House and fuck around with cole's computer. Okay, i am more borrowing the computer for now, the fucking around begins later when i replace his broken floppy drive.
Since this is my first true post, i should probably establish some things before i begin this narration. i am Saiyajin18, a 23 year old graphic design student from Wisconsin. i'm fascinated by/obsessed with corporate media mind control, video games, theoretical physics, anime, brilliant people, and lip gloss. (yes, i said lip gloss, i buy the stuff compulsively). i also have a hand in ff:evolution, Fatal Red, and an ill-fated anime media site, aniMEDIA, which shut down due to hosting difficulties.
It's not that cole can't replace his broken floppy drive himself; that's just my pennance for staying home and using his computer instead of going to coffee. On this night i really miss my own comp, locked up inside White Hall and not to be liberated until the 19th when we can move back in. that's where the "chained mind" comes in. there's something creative lurking around in the shadows and recesses of my brain, but it refuses to rear its head. it remains, locked away, waiting until i'm sitting in front of my crappy little monitor again. i want to work on a new layout, "the man with the machine gun" themed around Laguna from FF8, and i think i have the images. it's alright, i just made this layout, i don't need to make a new one already, unless cole will let me make him one.
Speaking of FF8: this is my second time all the way through the game, and i'm attempting to do it guideless. that means no looking up who has what card, what sidequest will give me what item, etc. so far, so good; i'm on the Ragnarok, and monsters are streaming towards the Lunatic Pandora.
Speaking of lunatics: ...i had something relevant to say here, but then i forgot. i could've deleted that, but i thought that was a cool segue, so i left it in. xD
Speaking of xD : i just got a popup for a popup eliminator. whatever will they think of next?
I'm gonna go play some games.
::
"in a corner, in a shadow i sit self-obsessed"
Sparta, Glasshouse Tarot
...another fell @ 1/06/2003 10:59:00 PM
